well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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