honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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