They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
