She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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