At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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