worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
