Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
