can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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