I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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