Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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