Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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