where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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