if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
