Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
