You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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