I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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