Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
