my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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