That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize