Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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