They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I party with great urgency now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
