don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
