I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
