i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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