I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think people are normalizing furries
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
