I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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