So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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