when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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