I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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