no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
pop tarts are not kleenex
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
