I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
