so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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