I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
