I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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