Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
