I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
