i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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