fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
