Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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