You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
