dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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