So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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