brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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