Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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