now i know why i became what i already was.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The adults are the big ones right?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
