I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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