just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
