I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
