i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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