It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
