11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
