He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
