Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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