well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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