The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
