maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
