Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
