covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
