Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
