That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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