where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
