She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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