whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you never un-have a 4some
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
