Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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