loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
