Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
