Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize