We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i came on her dog
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
