I think I died a long time ago.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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