I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
