i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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