I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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