last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize