And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
