Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
