yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
