It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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