my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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