I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
