Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
