Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
